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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

A House Divided Over Kids

Family Using Laptop At HomeBefore we can leap into the joys of Valentine’s Day with a loved one, we must discuss the very possible reality that your mate may not be on your side when it comes to the kids.  Adopted children often have an uncanny way of dividing parents, in much the same way as some bio kids.

Picture this:  a newly-arrived child sidles up to mother thor father, clinging only to one who can do no wrong, while the other, in their mind, is the epitome of evil.

Really?

Pretty heady stuff if you happen to be the chosen one.

family-law-What Parent #1 doesn’t comprehend is that they are being used, just as much as the ill-favored parent.  The child is allowed to do pretty much whatever they want, whenever they want.  They are not attached to Parent #1 any more than they are to Parent #2.  It is a false attachment, yet validates Parent #1 as though he/she is parenting “correctly”.

The child sides with the first parent, and it’s basically a familymutual admiration society… all at the expense of the second parent.  They seem to take a perverse happiness in putting the odd-man-out parent in his/her place.  Facial expressions, verbal cues, and rolled eyes are given in such a way so that one sees it, while the other doesn’t.  Parent #2 is charged with falsely accusing the supposed angel-child who can do no wrong.

A house divided shall not stand.  Do whatever it takes to reconnect with your mate and make him/her your main priority.  Children are well-adjusted and happy when their parents are.

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