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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Bad Character Traits Passed Down

crDo you lie to your kids? If you find it expedient to tell them a fib, the data indicates that you might be setting them up to do the same. And not just way down the line.

Researchers Hays and Carver of UCSD put together a study in 2014, whereby kids were watched by a secret camera when adults needed to walk out of the room. It’s unclear from the study the reason behind why the children would lie— was it because the adults who had lied to them gave them an indication that they were not worthy of honesty, or was it merely dishonest behavior that they had been exposed to and were now mirroring? But, the link is clear: those who had been told something untrue started to operate in an untruthful manner.

Think about it. You are shaping your child’s morality by what types of crbehaviors you embrace or excuse, what types of behaviors in which you, yourself, engage.

This is really not news, is it?

Most of us had an inkling of realities underscored by phrases such as: The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

crExtrapolating the lying issue, start to get an idea for what your child may face when they are exposed to negative behaviors: anger issues, cheating, gossiping, underachieving, poor relationships, blame shifting….

Flip that around to the positive and see what you might model instead: happiness, honesty, solid friendships and a loving marriage, speaking well of others, taking responsibility for outcomes, working toward a goal, emotional stability.

Most of us want our kids to grow up into well-adjusted and productive individuals, but we need to go the extra mile to ensure that. By modeling best behaviors, it’s win-win: not only do they learn the right thing, we live a better life, as well.

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