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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Committed First to Kids or Mate?

angry-teenA lot of parents struggle with a very basic understanding of loyalty and commitment. Who comes first: the kids or the mate?

I tend to revert to a very mature understanding of life, using a complex equation to solve the situation.

I say: it all depends. As in: who came first, the chicken or the egg? The kids or the mate?

If these are children who were in your life before this mate arrived, Teenage girl in trouble with parentsthen you owe them a certain allegiance, goes the reasoning. But if the spouse existed before the children, then the two of you should be a strong team first of all.

Nobody likes to see children abused by a later mate. Nobody likes to see a spouse abused by later children.

First come, first served, I say.

In general. If it works for you. If you’re feeling conflicted.

Are you the chicken or the egg?

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4 Comments : Leave a Reply

  1. avatar Leah says:

    Bravo Alexandra this nails it. You have cut thru all of the psychobabble in one fell swoop. This is a good general rule and I’m going to recommend that a friend reads the post. Thanks.

  2. avatar Karen says:

    Love it. Wish I had thought of this! We have some definite power struggles at our house from time to time and I’ll keep this in the back of my mind.

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