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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Controlling Parents

I hear ya, Amy Chua.  American parenting is going to hell in a handbasket.  Author of “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”, and mom that everyone’s learning to hate, she’s garnering lots of attention as the permissive parenting pendulum swings back to the other side.  Control and conquer.

We recently attended a performance geared toward kids and I’m telling you, it was bedlam–children running the aisles, little ones drawn like bears to honey to a piano upon which they banged ad nauseum, parents smiling benignly all the while.   I know it takes some effort to reign in and redirect, but really.  Go to any adoptive family event and it’s 10x worse because our kids have already survived so much trauma and abuse and the parents are unwilling to tell little Johnny (or Dima) to cool it.

Everybody needs boundaries.

People!  Take control!  That run-amok toddler will turn into a terrible teen faster than you can scream, “Dr. Spock!”

Now, don’t get your britches all in a knot, I’m not exactly in Ms. Chua’s camp and her home certainly sounds like a prison camp where she’s the ruling Commandant.  No, I’m more of a Benevolent Dictator, emphasis on either part of that, depending on the day and the hour.

Face it:  children have ants in their pants, some more than others.  (And older kids have electronics in their pants, bringing on a whole host of other control issues.)  They need to be trained to sit still, pay attention, be polite, save for retirement, and walk the dog without jerking on the leash.

And that’s part of the problem of Ms. Chua’s parenting paradigm:  there’s too much yanking on the leash and not enough treats.  Even Misha and Grisha know:  that will never do.


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