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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Cuckoo Conversations with my Kids

thFour teens in the house can drive even the most sane parents over the edge. I get an e-mail from a colleague as I enquire about a date to do some work around the end of May, informing him that my oldest son’s tennis season will draw to a close around that date and I should be more free.

“My son graduates from high school June 6th,” he shoots back. “I figured you’d be swamped, as well.”

Say no more. Try as we might to not have our lives revolve around our kids, it’s hard. There’s an ebb and a flow.

Mostly an ebb, as far as time for my stuff.Casual Crowd

So I track my level of sanity by the conversations with my kids. Not that we actually talk back and forth. Most of it is one-way, from me to them. Are you surprised?

It goes something like this…. (Insert your own 60-second interval between each utterance.)

just-for-youth-what-i-expect-from-my-parents.jpg.crop_display“Pasha, get out of the bathroom.”

“Sashenka, stop talking, Petya has ten times more homework than you do.”

“Petya, do your homework.”

“Why don’t the dogs have any water? Mashenka, can you give the dogs water?”

“Pasha, are you out of the bathroom?”

“Sashenka, you need to retake your Russian dictation and your spelling test…. No, you’re not stupid. You need to free-teen-homework-helpstudy…. Alright, I’ll give you 15 minutes to look it over.”

“Mashenka, where’s your father? I have no idea where your jacket is. If I don’t know where your father is, how would I know where your jacket is? You need to start keeping track of your own things….”

“Petya, call me when you get there, okay? Drive safely.”

“Pasha—at last! I thought you fell in. Did you complete the sketch for Ms. N? Good, now do your homework. The girls have finished theirs—what do you do when you’re away from me with your father?”

th“Sashenka, get out of the bathroom…. That is not your office! What do you kids do in there? Do you have a book with you? We need to take your spelling test…. Yes, I know you may get 100% on the spelling and on your Russian, and that proves that you’re smart, you just don’t like to study. Why not do this the first time you take it?”

“Why do I spend half my time talking to the bathroom door?”

“He’s in the car? Thank you, Mashenka.”

“Sashenka—sit, write: ‘Murat lives in a suburb of Moscow and began composing not only music, but also poetry when he was three….’”

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