Dating as a Believer
The Bible, in essence, says very little about dating. In ancient times, young people tended to be married off by their parents, usually a teen girl in her mid-to-late teens to a man who had already established himself, in his twenties or thirties.
And that was that. Be fruitful and multiply.
Be fruitful and multiply? Did God really say that?
Yes, when there were no people on Planet Earth.
Our family is born-again, believers in Jesus, from Christian and Jewish
backgrounds. We are thoroughly modern, and fun, and full of faith. Our belief system proscribes certain ways of life which would impact those in dating situations, such as avoiding promiscuity and immorality and keeping sexual relationship within the confines of marriage.
By the end of next week, our first son will be 20, our second son will also turn 20, with our girls trailing at 18 and 16. Do they date? Will they date? How will they find a life’s partner?
Basically, we’re inbetween worlds. The kids can meet new friends in group situations and when they develop an interest in a specific individual, get to know them better in a public place. We’re closer to the Duggars than the Kardashians, but not really in either camp: we don’t want our kids married off at 18, 19 or 20, but we don’t want them jumping from partner to partner, either.
On a recent get-away, our family invited Petya’s friend, who is a girl, to join our family for just over a day. She drove 3.5 hours to meet us halfway and jump into our family’s activities, sleeping on the couch, going places and engaging in fun excursions. She loved it. We loved getting to know her— smart, beautiful, spiritual.
So this month, as the young lady turns 21, Petya took the train seven hours to upstate NY. It would have taken five hours by car, but we’re glad he didn’t drive. He is becoming better acquainted with her family, some of whom he met briefly at the Jewish-Christian camp where both kids served as counselors and the young lady’s teen brother functioned as Petya’s assistant. The parents are well-educated and speak Russian.
This time, he’s sleeping on their couch. Instead of our dogs poking around the new person in the family, her older sister has two cats that will jump on top of him in the middle of the night, lol. They have meals together when their kids are not in university or at work. It’s a family thing, just like ours.
Oh, that more young people, if not adults would learn that when you’re involved with someone, their family background and reality count, too. Powerful stuff.
So, for now, it’s group activities and some one-on-one in public places. I don’t read his texts to her, I try to give ideas of not using the “L” word before about ten years from now, lol, they don’t hold hands, etc. You get the idea.
Friends. It’s a novel thought.
No broken hearts. No leading someone on.
May this work for all of our kids as Petya blazing the way, with God’s will for their lives at the center of it all. Honoring Him and respecting each other. Having the support of entire families pulling for you and waiting until marriage to be intimate.
That’s a lot to give thanks for in this day and age.
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