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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Deception, Discretion and Just Answer the Question

LinkedInSquareLogoAn acquaintance of mine recently wrote a LinkedIn post for those trying to break into a particular niche career field. He explained about specifically what needed to go into your cover letter namely, the connecting the dots on how your experience or education matched the job on offer, and then what should be in your resume, for instance, forget all high school accomplishments unless they were along the lines of finding a cure for cancer.

In essence, he was saying: just answer the question.

Now, I will be the first to encourage our kids and others to have a certain amount of discretion in life, for example:

Q: Where did your family just go?
A: Oh, we were just away for a few days.

Q: How much money do your parents make?
A: You’d have to ask them about that, but they seem to be supporting us well.

Those are a) nosy questions, which b) deserve semi-evasive answers. Problem is, they have learned how to avoid practically any (legitimate) elderlyquestion in life.

Recently we were getting together with some older friends who are almost like grandparents to our teens and twenties.

“You know,” I reminded the kids on the way to lunch, “you only have one grandparent left, Papa’s mother, who is in a nursing home and doesn’t really talk anymore. All you know of elderly friends is that they are there to take you places and tell you funny stories. You’ve missed out on uncomfortable family dinners, and probing questions, and other embarrassing issues of life, like are you ever going to get married or get a job….”

“Uh-huh…” they looked out the SUV’s windows.

burgerAnd then, after we were almost all the way through a perfectly delightful seafood lunch, where a couple of them ordered huge burgers which they could barely eat… because our friends told them to order anything they wanted on the menu… and they believed them…. That was when the life questions started coming their way and the kids stumbled over them, unable to answer the simplest questions.

And I had prepped them.

A discussion around our own dinner table often goes something like this, just with different words:

Q: For example, what’s your name?
A: I like to paddle board.
Q: Yes, but I asked your name.
A: It’s warm outside today.

If I happen to text my husband, he explains later on that he doesn’t have time for texts. I ask if he wants me to call? No. Then text? No. Telegram? No. Skype? No. Smoke-signals? Nyet.

So I text:
Would you like to attend that fundraising dinner I told you about?texting
What time do we need to leave tonight for Event X?
Are we preparing the taxes on-time or asking for an extension?

And I receive:
OK.

People, people. Evasion has become a way of life.  Communicate!  Unfortunately, the family, as the building block of society, does not amply prepare young people for many of the challenges of life. Parents avoid tricky subjects and holding children accountable. Grandparents have passed away or life across country.

The sooner we all learn to answer (legitimate) questions in a brief and straightforward manner, the better off our culture will be.  You will ace job interviews, college interviews, relationship interviews– think of all of the benefits!

All it takes is answering the question.  And on that note, have a great weekend.

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