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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Divide and Conquer

_mother_teen_daughterWith four adopted children from Russia, my husband and I are pretty outnumbered.  It dawned on me recently that, due to time constraints, we don’t do a whole lot with the kids as individuals, except for our oldest.

So, I decided to check with the girls and see if they’d like to head to the salon for a trim and take a couple of hours off of school.

Sashenka, 12, in the afternoon:  “Ohhh…  I don’t know, I’ll have to think about it.”

At bedtime, same day:  “Can I think about it overnight?”

Next morning:  “Maybe… if I could get bangs….”

We had talked about this ad nauseum.  I had even taken her back into the salon to addAA044092 side-swept bangs her last trip– biggo mistako.  Since that time, we’ve had non-stop hair-in-the-face and bumps-growing-on-the-forehead-from-the-oily-hair.  Now she was back to talking about the blunt-cut, Chinese, straight-across chop job.

I listed our 101 reasons why we did not want her to have bangs.  Which resulted in whining, misplacing her Russian homework, acting like a baby, and me saying, “You know what?  Forget it.”

Her sister, however, had an entirely different reaction.

Mashenka, 14.5:  “Sure, Mama, I think I’d like to try something different, if that’s okay with you.”

mother-and-daughter-photoshoot-409461Moi, of unknown age:  “Absolutely, just don’t mention bangs….”

Mashenka:  “MA-ma!”

Moi:  “So what are you thinking of?”

Mashenka:  “I don’t know.”

Moi:  “That’s a problem.”

Mashenka:  “I know.”

Moi:  “Short?  Long?  Straight?  Curly?”

She shrugs.  I continue.

Moi:   “If we ask the hairdresser, she may come up with a wild idea of her own.  Best if momandteenwe have a general idea….”

Mashenka:  “Maybe just a trim…” said the adventurous one.

Moi:  “Sounds safe.”

Thus, mother and daughter headed to the salon in an unusual downpour of rain as temperatures heated up to an unseasonably warm range.  We chatted, discussing hair and life.  I think she was happy to not have her sister along.

Japanese Fashion4While we waited our turn, I picked up an innocuous fashion magazine (a definite contradiction in terms) laying nearby, a special treat for her.  Ticking off the fashion designers, I reviewed Japanese styles, Italian styles, French styles, American styles.  She giggled as I showed her the mismatched “sets” and what was currently “in”, the runway versus real life.

Before we knew it, she was being summoned to the hairdresser’s chair, where we explained her hair hopes and dreams, challenges and impossibilities.  The stylist understood all, a miracle in itself.  She was in her late 30s and studying pharmacology full-time, and hairdressing full-time, supporting two teen children, an excellent role model of what could be done through hard work and determination.  Rather refreshing.

We loved the chair-side chat, we loved the hairstyle, which beautifully shaped up her hairstyling-largeshaggy mane.  Mother and daughter bonded, and felt special together.  The sun came out, while the younger sister didn’t talk to us for the rest of the day.  She went later as the boys got their haircuts, to have hers done, too.

I might need to do more of this one-on-one thing.


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3 Comments : Leave a Reply

  1. avatar my_own_clan says:

    We date our children (5) starting at age three (so four are in rotation, currently). We alternate Momma & Daddy and cycle through the kiddos, one per week. It can be challenging to keep dates in the schedule, as it consumes yet another night of the week, but we have been blessed to have this time with them, to build relationship. I asked my 8-year-old last night (on our date, to the library and the coffee shop- hot chocolate for him!) if there was something that I needed to be working on as a mom. He couldn’t think of anything (although I have lots to work on!!), but I reminded him that what he thinks and feels is important to me…

    I am glad your date with your girl was a fruitful time 🙂

    • avatar admin says:

      That’s beautiful, my own clan! I have heard of date nights and would love to have one with my husband, lol! I think I could definitely work on once/mo. per child. It would mean a lot to them. Thanks for the encouragement.

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