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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Edited Blog

angry-mom-0511-mdnToday my blog was not launched early in the morning as it usually is.  This helps my foreign readers, as well as early risers, or night owls. 


“Tech support”, who shall remain nameless, decided not to put it up into cyberspace.  Too controversial.  Too over-the-top.

It was about triangulation in adoptees, how I as the angrymotherdaughtermother am the persecutor, the source of all evil for one of our children, and how Benedetto is the rescuer, the one who can do no wrong.  The child uses this strategy to keep the authority figures off balance and manipulate them.

Reality is hard to face.  Most adoptive parents understand this.  And when possible mental illness is the source of the entire family’s suffering, even worse.

So while one rages and tantrums and displays definite signs of being headed for the loony bin, it’s suggested that I not write about it.  Might make “me” look bad.

Um-hmm.  Just thought you’d want to know.


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8 Comments : Leave a Reply

  1. avatar Karen says:

    Say no more. We who get it, get it. Keep your chin up.

    • avatar admin says:

      Thanks, Karen. Maybe I need to rethink the telling-it-like-it-is. I remember when our first son came home and folks accused me of lying because… it was going so well! At this point, I’d believe practically anyone’s story. 🙂

  2. avatar ap says:

    I have a child like that also. Dad hung the moon. She was once actually angry at him for a consequence he doled out and yet she still found a way to blame it on me. In other words she was angry at me because she had been angry at Dad. In our situation our daughter has fond memories of birth father and blames birth mother for everything that went wrong. And that gets transferred to me. I would love to read your original post ;O)

    • avatar admin says:

      Yeah, well, if anything bad ever happens to me, ap, tell the authorities to check my computer… it’s all there! (I think!) Our kids had no positive males nor females in their earlier lives, so why he gets to be the good guy is anyone’s guess.

  3. avatar sarah says:

    Alexandra, I hear you loud and clear! After three adoptions and one bio the three older of the children do none of what you are referring to… ever. The 4 1/2 year old 29 pound itty bitty beautiful thing is a bundle of manipulation, anger, terror, rage, intelligence, beauty & talent all in a package I could never have been prepared for. Her daily behaviour is improving however last nights two hour of raging in her room was a bit exhausting. I find my husbands inability to see her triangulation a mile away surprising to say the least. Her desire to make others look bad whenever possible. The worst is the only time I see her truly look joyful is when she has done something so totally horrid. I hear you and am right here with you. We all need to stick together.

  4. avatar sarah says:

    Just an FYI. She has been doing very well lately. So today she came out of school with a chunk of her hair cut really short on the fore head ( she has no bangs by the way). She started a social skills class at school today. She of course had two to the three therapists/teachers wrapped around her finger. Her OT therapist ( the other adult) was rather annoyed as the other 2 adults raved about how wonderful, how adorable, how they want to take her home! Czarina’s OT had warned them about our Little RAD Czarina and they still couldn’t resist her. So interesting to see even the professionals get hood winked by her!

    • avatar admin says:

      Yes, that happens, Sarah. They’re one way when in private, or around people they really trust/know, and lead the whole world to believe something else entirely! Thankfully, this does come and go in waves– gives us a moment to catch our breath! Hmmm… we could use some social skills classes around here, that sounds great. (Sorry about the hair!)

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