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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Even the Good Life Has Bumps in the Road

fashion-glam-glamorous-glamour-heels-Favim.com-194350It’s not easy being moi. Required to complete a number of lectures this week, my son and I hurtled down the highway before the crack of dawn to visit yet another city, participate in seminars, and set off for our second house. At the dacha, we had more command performances for that evening.

“Ouch!” I murmured, no more than 30 minutes down the road first thing in the morning. Something was biting me near my armpit.

After rubbing here and there, I finally reached inside my top and felt dae4dae8-2fad-49b3-a59e-fc5ba3fb6c6cmy armpit. I know, I know, this is my glamorous life when nobody’s watching. However, I discovered the source of my problem: the underwire on my bra had emerged and was stabbing me in the armpit.

I tried to push it back in, but to no avail. Thankfully, I had brought along another bag with another bra in it. I mean, you do that, don’t you? So I made my quick-change plan to grab the bra, stuff it into my already-overflowing purse, hit the lecture, claim my seat, run to the ladies’ room, change, and get back to the lecture before it began. Which I did.

carhartt-relaxed-fit-khaki-pants-canvas-for-men-in-golden-khaki~p~2661r_01~1500.3Meanwhile, my son was having problems all his own in the car.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“These pants,” he twisted and turned, “I’m getting a wedgie.”

He explained that these were not his usual pants, which were at the dacha, but a secondary pair used for emergencies. Straightlegged, but not skintight. None of our kids are allowed to wear skintight pants, since their mother already does, but not for any reason other than middle-aged spread which I use to my fashion advantage.restrooms


Somehow, we made it through our lectures and labs and discussions and Q&A. When we finally slipped away, we knew we had to hightail it onto the highway in order to make our next meeting hundreds of miles away. A few biggies stopped us.

“You won’t be able to stay for the next lecture?”

“Sadly, we must be on our way,” my son demurred, while telling me quickly, “Don’t stop at the bathroom, just walk right out the door.”

lsAnd so we did. But we could not find another bathroom on the highway for miles. And no food, either. The two of us stopped at one fast-food place, not seeing the bus parked on the other side of the building with a line stretched around the block. We walked right back out.

Finally, stopping at a Starbucks, only the men’s room was open, since someone was camped for hours in the ladies’ room. I inquired of a worker if there was any difference and she said no, help yourself. Using the facility without touching any surface (tricky when you wash your hands), I emerged13530f1d9768ce552952021c2516f18f to a surprised gentleman standing outside to whom I remarked, “You men are something else.”

“Apparently,” he replied.

My son was still waiting for my espresso macchiato when I emerged from the restroom fiasco 10 minutes later. Upon my prodding, they finally made the coffee that I had already paid for, and was in desperate need of, so that we could get going.

Still no food. We needed to be moving fast and I was beginning to feel that no fast food was going to be fast enough for our needs.

th“WalMart,” I said in a lightbulb, aha moment, “WalMart would have sandwiches, salads, and cold drinks. We’ll grab something there!”

“Fine, I like their stuff,” answered my ever-amiable son.

In we went, out we tried to come, but no, the checkout line I got into had a cashier who decided to step away from her register to help a hapless customer. Standing in line for 5 minutes going on 10 longlineminutes, I jumped to another line.

…Where the cashier also was called away from her register to go Fashion_illustration_of_dress_by_fj86check on a price for another customer-???!!! Isn’t that what they make the flashing lights for, to call for backup, and so that a cashier will never-ever leave their post?

And here we stood for another 5 minutes before she reappeared. These things only seem to happen when you’re pressed for time…. Just like the cars pulling in front of me and driving 5-10 miles below the speed limit on the highway.

Somehow, we made it home, I took a 2-minute shower, we hopped in the car, and headed out for another meeting.

Even the glamour life can have a few glitches along the way.


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