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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Faith for the Future

highway-rainbow-nicklen_1427_600x450My children likely have brain damage from alcohol that their birthmothers ingested.  One or two are quite forgetful, another remembers facts and figures today, but not tomorrow, and then has perfect recall the third day, only to be forgotten again on the fourth day.  This Swiss cheese brain will turn into a good sandwich one day, some way, but right now I can’t see it.

For the most part, you would never know that they’re affected.  A couple might seem immature, that is, if you got to know them.  Most people don’t, and that’s fine for now.

I would rather a sweet smile and a willing heart than 100% on every test.  Yet, it concerns me on those days when neither option appears likely for them.

It’s faith that I need, faith for today and faith for tomorrow.  It’s going to work out for them.  Worrying about it th2won’t make it any better.  I’ll be pro-active in getting them help, and pro-active in giving them ideas about their future.  I’ll keep them in “protective custody”, for want of a better word, until they’re mature enough to function in a way that will not destroy the rest of their life by one impulsive mistake.

That might be forever.

The melt-downs, the blow-ups, I don’t remember these from when I was a teen, but they don’t like me to compare anyone else with them.  They are unique (believe me, I know this), and somehow no one else has ever endured what they have endured, or so they say.

thIt gets old.  Playing the victim will never lead to victories, but that’s because I’m old.  I can see the things they cannot.  So I try to instill some faith in them, faith that they can carry on even when one day, I will not be around, hopefully not due to my demise, but not around in a good sense, when they’re really ready to test their wings.

I need faith to believe that day will come.  They will not hide behind my skirts forever.  They will order for themselves, and think for themselves, and make decisions for themselves, and choose friends for themselves.  And it will not lead to disaster.

They are on the road to recovery, and I have to look at the big picture.  Think of how far we’ve come in the years baker_valley_rainbowsince they’ve been home from Russia.  Rejoice when they do obey, rather than lament when they don’t.

It costs no more to extend my faith.  Some might say it’s wishful thinking, or setting oneself up for hopes to be dashed.  But I believe.  I believe that tomorrow will be better than today.  Brain damage big or small will not define us.

Faith will extend and push out the perimeter of anything and everything that would ever seek to box us in, and bring despair to our lives.  By faith, we will stand.


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2 Comments : Leave a Reply

  1. avatar AP says:

    Thank you for your very timely post! We just got the official fetal alcohol diagnosis for our youngest daughter, adopted from Russia four years ago. While, the dx was not a complete surprise, the news was still met with many mixed emotions, including grief. And yet, there is a certain sense of peace in knowing there truly is a reason for some of the odd behaviors we have seen, a reason why one of our daughters seems to thrive while the other appears to be stuck at times.
    So now we enter yet another new phase of our lives. I too have faith – a realistic faith. She will not be a doctor but she will graduate from high school.
    Most importantly she will know she has been loved by this mama.

    • avatar admin says:

      Wow, beautiful comments, AP! Faith gives us victories that could never happen apart from a healthy optimism and belief that all will be well – even when the circumstances scream otherwise. Keep your eyes on the prize. Being realistic and full of faith will take all of us to destinations we never could have envisioned in the natural. And yes, love never fails.

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