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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Flush the Toilet, Please

thThe mind is a terrible thing to waste. And it happens a lot when you’re a parent. You find yourself constantly repeating, nagging, cajoling, trying to reason with the unreasonable….

It’s a well-known fact that most of the great minds throughout the ages did not have kids. But that doesn’t help me. I have kids and I’m trying to keep my mind.

Good luck with that.

Which brings us to our second son who is in his late teens, slightly younger than our oldest. He will not flush the toilet. Never mind that there are many grown men who leave the toilet seat up, this is a step beyond.

Moi:    “You know, we have to stop this.”

Pasha:  “What did I do? Why is not flushing the toilet wrong? I didn’t do ‘big business,’” states this toilet_flushing_5future leader in industry by the looks of it.

Moi:    “It’s not polite. As a matter of fact, it’s disgusting.”

Then it happens again. Some of his siblings report that it also happens when he does do “big business”, which naturally, we are using in euphemistic terms.

I check on the kids’ bathrooms occasionally.  I don’t want them replicating the Russian outhouse.  Yes, meanie that I am, I actually make them clean their own bathrooms. It builds character. It puts hair on the chest. It feeds the starving chil-… well, maybe it can’t solve all the world’s ills.

ProperlyFlushingToiletSteAnd there is Pasha’s full of urine and a few pieces of toilet paper. Sorry if that’s TMI, but this is my life, people. How the mighty have fallen.

“Yo, Pasha-!” I feel like saying.

Instead, I place a 3×5 card on top of the lid stating: “FLUSH YOUR TOILET. And please submit a 3-paragraph essay by 3:00 pm on why we need to always flush the toilet.”

The deadline comes and goes. He’s Very Busy. The next day, I involve his father who does not let him go to bed until the mini-essay is done, which is like pulling teeth on a two-year-old. He sits around and hems and haws. Mind you, he may have slight brain damage from FAS.

Slight. Maybe he doesn’t understand every social cue or executive functioning. But bathroom keep-calm-and-keep-the-toilet-clean-5functioning he’d better grasp one day soon. Yesterday, if possible.

So he writes an essay, which turns out to be sarcastic, in my opinion, reading in part: “At night, if I go to the bathroom, I will keep it clean. It will be clean for the other person to use. It was wrong of me to try and save water, and I am truly sorry.”

Suddenly, our Green Guru is considering the environment above his own propensity to flush. Right. Of course, the time of his last offense was around 4:00 in the afternoon. It had nothing to do with saving water nor with not awaking the rest of the house by the sound of flushing, another spur-of-the-moment excuse that pops up. In other words, he’s the King of Consideration to not flush-!

I decide not to get him out of bed, but the next morning we return to Square One. He agrees that it was dumb of him to write crazy things and rewrites his reasonings which at last make sense. He states that he will be mature and consider others.

Music to a mother’s ears.

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