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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Girls’ Lunch Out

thI invited our girls, Mashenka and Sashenka (15 and almost 13 y.o.), to a special luncheon, just the three of us.  While I might plan for a fancy tea, or something along the lines of Ladies Who Lunch, I knew that the girls did not need any country club or genteel setting.  Instead, they would be happy campers with upscale burgers.

Out we ventured during Tropical Storm Andrea, the car barely staying on the road, bands of rain coming and going with intermittent sunshine.  Very allegorical to mirror the girls’ turbulent relationship with me.

In the back of my mind, I believe I might have harbored vague thoughts of imparting life wisdom to my daughters during this uninterrupted lunch.  Instead, the two of them took forever to come to a decision on the type of burger, one actually settling for the Classic, i.e., a plain old patty on bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, etc., lol.  Then they chatted non-stop about the most inane topics on the face of the earth, with world peace and a cure for cancer saved for another day in the far distant future.

They were delighted.

I learned to focus on them rather than any “talking points”, on their faces, smiling, chattering and aglow with being saladthe center of attention.  My occasional murmurs of “I see,” or “That must have been difficult”, or “You’re kidding!”, and a giggle or two thrown in for good measure more than satisfied them.

“Mama, it’s so fun to talk with you!” they both enthused.

I said nothing about their table manners, which were, by and large, fine when we were in public.  I did not draw attention to any excessive use of the word “like”. 

“And then, like, she was, like, giving everyone else a hard time, like, she was in charge, or something….”

We just enjoyed each other and relaxed.

Perhaps a new role for me.

But enjoyable, I must say, enjoyable and valuable for all concerned.  We ran back to the car in the now-pouring rain, another first for me, to throw caution to the wind and live dangerously, as I focused more on them than on any other tyranny of the urgent.


6 Comments : Leave a Reply

  1. avatar hoonew says:

    Radical strategy- must give this a try sometime.

  2. avatar Leah says:

    Love it! Could I say thank you for your honesty?

  3. I think sometimes just “Relaxing and enjoying each other” is THE HARDEST THING. And I think, how hard can it be? really. But between the “clinical parenting” which so often takes over our evenings as we try to keep the end of day tiredness/homework battle/hunger induced dysregulation at bay; working on the basic manners we should have been working on years ago except we were too busy working on other things like not hitting and kicking; traveling back and forth to the swim team and horseback riding activites that provide the physical outlet so beneficial for her (and by extension everyone in her circle); it just seems like it gets prioritized out more often than not. Even when I set a goal of 15 minutes a day when I just listen to what she wants to tell me. Just listening. It’s a challenge for me; but a worthy one for sure. Love your lunch story here!

    • avatar admin says:

      Thanks, Wendy. I often think of my mom and how she was really there for me as I talked and dreamed non-stop. I know what you mean about so many other pressing issues squeezing out the relaxing times. I hope it all eventually balances out, and we can get to the “less is more” stage. It’s an ebb and flow, for sure.

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