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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Hot Tip from WalMart

Understanding that much of my readership comes from the well-heeled Bergdorf, Macy’s, Bloomingdales, Eddie Bauer, Saks and Tiffany’s crowd, excellent researcher that I am, I thought that I’d let you in on a hot tip for cold weather from WalMart.  Hold your applause, please, but I have discovered:  men’s cotton turtlenecks are there-!  Right now, in some stores.  Only $8.97 in white, dark grey, navy, and black.

Got ‘em all for my two men-boys and a black mock turtleneck for Benedetto.

Naturally, I called him from inside the store.  That’s all I use my phone for these days.  It’s always off in case you try to get me.  But potential retail derailments call for me to crank up the cell.

“Cotton turtlenecks, happening NOW.  Do you want one?” I ask.

“Cotton?  Not really.  I prefer acrylic or wool, something fuzzy….”

“No can do.  Cotton.  Take it or leave it,” I relate.

“No, that’s okay, thanks for asking,” he says.

So, of course, I buy him one anyway.  I know what he means about cotton fading, or bagging, or whatever.  But come winter, when all is cold and chilly outside, and he has pasta sauce on all of his other turtlenecks, he will thank me.  Who cares if the turtleneck slumps a little bit if it’s layered under another sweater or jacket?

They have been gone for years at WalMart.  No turtlenecks for men or boys.  Girls, yes.  Women, occasionally.  Not in the store, nowhere, nohow.  I’ve checked in the North, South, East, and West.

Naturally, you can head to Land’s End, where the online men’s cotton turtlenecks are generally in the $24.99 range.  For one.  Sometimes around the holidays they have their 50% off sales, but you still need to pay shipping.  Yes, they are better quality, but I’m telling you:  A turtleneck in the hand, in September, is worth more than a limited supply of sizes and colors at 3x the price in December.

Our kids live in turtlenecks.  It eliminates many lost scarves, let’s put it that way.  Put them under a sweater or jacket with slacks or skirts.  Wow.  Pizzazz.  They looked dressed.  Europeans embrace them as their own.  I’ve had Italians stop me in parks, flabbergasted about how good the kids look in khakis, turtlenecks, and blazers.  How do I tell them about my secret source?

I am not getting paid for this.  WalMart does not know who I am, except that I have enough receipts to prove that I am one of their biggest money-makers.  I should be on their Board of Directors.  I know what sells.  In summer, it’s polos.  In winter, it’s turtlenecks.

Thank you, WalMart, for seeing the light.

Folks, run and get yours now, while supplies last!






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4 Comments : Leave a Reply

  1. avatar Winnie says:

    Will you talk to my crew who all think turtle necks are torture devices? Even in the great white north you can’t get their chilly necks in one.

    • avatar admin says:

      Winnie, check on the material used and the tightness of the neck until you give up completely. If no changes work, THEN you can give up completely, and swaddle them in scarves, lol….

  2. avatar Phyllis says:

    I loaded up on those for our 3 boys when we were bringing them home. Other moms told me that their boys don’t like to wear turtlenecks or even mock turtlenecks. I figured that I would not really give the boys a choice. There were fine with them for the first two winters. But this past winter, one of them seems to be a bit more bothered by them. I’m not giving up yet though! Like you said, they can look so nice so easily. And that is a really big plus for church – quick and simple! : ) I’m off to WalMart to find more turtlenecks for the boys!!!

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