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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Hurt Children – Hurt Puppies

thOccasionally, we have a child or two who demonstrate the hurt and trauma fallout from their past. Well, maybe change that to frequently….

Most everything irritates them, bothers them, and frustrates them. They think you’re overbearing, they think you’re aloof. They sneer and make snake eyes at you, while asking what you’re buying them for their birthday.

You get the idea. A lot of confusion and conflicting emotions. Could be normal for adolescent teens… or not….

These kids have wounds from the past, from thbefore adoption, and may be compared to hurt puppies. If you saw a dog that had been hit by a car, sitting wounded by the side of the road, you would try to help. When the dog recoils at your gentle touch and tries to snap at you, it might be best to walk away.

But in a family, you can’t. Actually, I know many who have. Considered it myself at times. But it’s nothing personal. So the experts say. Even though it’s directed right… at… you.

abf61fa59e9d3e4623a5d36f792f71b9There are all sorts of groups who save the whales and save the seals and save overpopulated pets, but care nothing for trafficked or traumatized people. It’s all important and hopefully, somehow, it evens out if you care for this, and I care for that.

I find it easier to care for people from afar and then come home to my loving two dogs, one a rescue from abandonment and abuse. After the first few months, both dogs settled in and knew that we were here to love them, provide for them, and scratch their bellies or backs.

The kids? Not so much.391035_Simple Exercises Loving Your Inner Child

One settled in immediately, a couple of rough edges, but understandable.  Model citizen.  The others? Six, seven years later and they still don’t know the real score, arguing upon occasion that somehow we irreversibly messed up their lives by welcoming them into our home.

We make them do schoolwork, and don’t let them run the streets, nor have candy 24/7.  Mean, mean, mean.

Some days, it’s easier to think of them as hurt puppies, because anything else just doesn’t make sense. Their sense of rejection is so strong that they will do anything to reject, and manipulate, and disappoint… in essence, kicking you to the curb before you kick them to the curb, anything so that they don’t have to “try” any longer.  Flood them with love and it’s like a cavernous, bottomless pit where any effort on your part is not even noticed.

It’s work becoming a family and letting go of the past. For parent and for child.


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