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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

I Believe You

Your experience in adoption, good, bad, or otherwise, is real.  There will be some who will try to convince you :  You’re mistaken, You’re overwhelmed, You’re deceiving yourself, You’re blowing it out of proportion.

But parents know.  And sometimes only one parent knows as the other one tells them they’re crazy and simply imagining things.

I believe you.  If you say it’s going swimmingly well, that’s great.  If you say you’re in the depths of despair, I’m sorry to hear it.  Whatever you’re experiencing is real and should not be diminished, dismissed, nor detracted from.

I believe you.  All of your friends at 3-D believe you, other adoptive parents who stop by to encourage and be encouraged.

Onlookers could say you need to be tougher, or more spiritual, or more laid-back and happy-go-lucky.  Maybe.  It could be that you’ve “been all of that” and the situation still stinks.  Or, you’ve done very little out of the ordinary and your parenting skills are sensational for your setting.  It happens.

If you ever grow tired of explaining how things could be “so good” or “so bad”, we’re here for you… and we hear you… and we validate you.  When the therapist doesn’t “get it”, or the teachers don’t have a clue, or your relatives think you’ve gone ‘round the bend, we understand.   When things go really well, and your child is doing just fine, and all you want to do is be normal and not try to think about “issues”, we capisce.

You can speak in shorthand to us, and we can finish your sentences.  You can sob, and we will listen.  You can be over-the-top with a tremendous breakthrough, and we will rejoice with you.

We get it.  We are other adoptive singles, families, wanna-bes and been-theres.  We believe you.

 

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6 Comments : Leave a Reply

  1. avatar Linda says:

    Thank you for that message.
    Just what I needed…
    Mother-in-law visiting= Child who’s high as a kite, and a mother in law who just doesn’t understand anything…
    For the first time ever I’m counting the hours until she’s leaving (28h left}…

    • avatar admin says:

      You’re welcome, Linda. You will make it! The holidays are stimulation enough, but when there are others added into the mix…! Keep your chin up, you can do this.

  2. avatar Phyllis says:

    That is one very encouraging post! I am slowly getting some others surrounding me that do “get it” even though they are not AP’s. I finally found out last month that I am NOT going insane, it is very real – sad – but good in that I have been validated.

    • avatar admin says:

      I know, Phyllis, that’s worth its weight in gold. Some things can’t be fixed overnight, so even good advice doesn’t always help. But a listening ear and kind soul – priceless!

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