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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Leisure Time with Ladies’ Magazines

Writing an eclectic, here, there, and everywhere, around-the-world-in-80-days-and-back-again type of blog, it’s obvious that I have a good handle on branding and niche marketing. That’s why for summertime reading on long trips, I tend to grab a couple of cheap ladies’ magazines. I like the two-minute pieces that are all across the charts covering inane items that don’t distract me from my children asking to eat, or the dogs asking to relieve themselves. Or vice-versa.

My jaw goes slack when perusing “Fifteen Uses for Peppermint”, or “25 Ways That Lemons Can Light Up Your Life”. I never imagined such things. Popping some extra Vitamin D, E, magnesium, and folic acid each day, I have been given the assurance of the magazines’ experts that I will never come down with cancer. The covers’ headlines promise me that I’m going to lose at least 100 pounds in the six weeks leading up to Labor Day (along with looking 20 years younger) if I drink 8 glasses of water a day (and probably eat nothing), while whipping up coconut cream pies and death-by-chocolate desserts for the rest of the family. Using handy planning guides, they instruct me how to cook meals under $1.50 per plate, until I discover that I’ll need a lifetime investment in cream of chicken soup, Velveeta cheese, and tater tots.

Maybe we should pass. Spending $5,000 a month on food for the family makes more sense than gambling it away with unhealthy “meal helpers”. Anyway, by clipping the magazine’s coupons, I’ll slash my normal expenditures by 50% in no time. I just won’t have much time for work since clipping, or printing, or downloading, or organizing scraps of paper takes time.

But being a broad-based ladies’ magazine, there are several feel-good feature stories each issue that are motivational in nature, such as “How I Raised 150 Well-Adjusted Foster Children on a Farm Near Philadelphia While Pursuing My Ph.D.” or “Learning Important Life Lessons by Observing Mold Patterns Growing in My Dirty Refrigerator”, along with “Creating Designer Duds by Shopping the Thrift Stores’ Midnight Madness Sales and Using Duct Tape to Redesign Everything During Three-Minute TV Commercial Breaks”.

Somehow, I’m not motivated by many of the features. I’m awed, for sure, yet not so inspired as to try it myself. Sometimes, I feel like a slacker compared to such talent among us.

I’ll need to buy another magazine to find out how to get over such thoughts. At $1.79, at least it’s affordable therapy. I understand that next month, I can be “Happier in 60 Seconds!” and that’s a cheery thought.

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