Missing Milestones… and Snacks
As adoptive parents, most of us have missed some of our children’s milestones. Whether it’s as brief as their first few hours on Planet Earth, or years of learning to talk, walk, eat, and dress, we sense the loss.
When our first son came home at almost eight years old, I took pictures of everything: first hot dog, first corn on the cob, first McDonalds visit (and that was in Moscow!), first doctor’s visit, first day of school (even though it was homeschool). I loved his every reaction: the beach, the puppy, the taxi ride.
Fast-forward to nine years later, and I’m happy to report that there are still firsts: learning to drive, texting everybody and his uncle, being on the high school tennis team, and NO, he will not be dating until he is 40.
So, due to his sports involvement, I’m getting to know other parents of his teammates: Jacob’s mom, Isaac’s mom, Luke’s dad (they’re big on Biblical names around here), and then we have Petya, lol. He does have a Biblical middle name, if that counts.
Anyhoo, the coach texted Petya and asked for my phone number. Naturally, I got all excited, because I kneeewww that he wanted my input on how the players could do better.
Nope. Turns out another mom wanted my number so we could discuss snacks. Snacks, that’s right. Whenever the varsity team had a home game, one of the moms provided snacks, which in some cases turned out to be almost a catered dinner affair at the clubhouse.
I went into a cold sweat. I had never done snacks. I took plenty of food to plenty of events, but not too much as the “mom of ________” which added a lot of pressure. No cupcakes for a school birthday. No cakes for a school raffle. This was a milestone and my phone wasn’t working properly (or maybe I wasn’t working it properly, which is probably more accurate).
So I had Petya text her: “Dear Ms. W, this is Petya from tennis and my mother would be happy to help with snacks any time. Her phone is not working well today, but if you call or text me, I can have her call you back. Thank you, Petya.”
She was very happy about his text and said she would touch base with me after spring break. Which would be now. Which caused me to put my Big Momma Britches on and give her a call, telling her I was Petya’s mom and ready for snack duty.
Ms. W. proceeded to tell me that there was a very specific formula that the tennis moms used: 1) actual snack (sandwiches); 2) something salty (chips of any sort); 3) something sweet (Oreos or another cookie); and 4) Gatorade. I should have listened to Petya, he told me that the kids loved junk-!
“Now keep in mind that this is a snack, not a meal,” Ms. W. intoned over the phone. “If you try to bring fruit or anything else healthy, the boys won’t eat it. The girls’ team is better, but the boys want plain meat on their sandwiches, white bread, either sub rolls cut up, or individual bread rolls. Forget the water, they already have that. They like the Gatorade, and I will be there with coolers to help you ice it down. Plan to feed 20.”
“You sound like you have experience,” I marveled at her grasp of snacks.
“My daughter was on the girls’ team last year…. And I want to tell you, your son is the most gentlemanly, kind, conscientious, and funny person. Everyone enjoys him, I really mean it, he is one of a kind…” she went on, but I won’t bore you.
As soon as I hung up after chatting some more with her, I realized: we would be arriving in town just before the game. There was no way. I quickly called her back.
“Hi, it’s me again. You know, can I switch to the next day…?”
It was all so new and overwhelming. If, a couple of weeks from now, you see a harried-looking woman with 12-foot long subs hanging out the open windows of her car, putting on sunscreen and her sunhat, and heading to the courts, you’ll know it’s me.
I’ve been summoned to Snack Duty, yet another milestone, and it makes me very happy.
————-Tags: adopted kids' milestones missed, celebrating adopted children's "firsts", snack time at sports