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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Monday Mottoes – #217

disfunctionalfamilyIt’s Thanksgiving week, a great time of year, however, not not a time for big announcements nor the settling of family feuds. Just because you may be gathering in person with family and friends, this would not be a time to let any bombs drop. A non-holiday time might be a better opportunity to update everyone, you know, when folks are more relaxed and open to major life changes.

As they say, don’t sweat the small things… and realize that most things in life are small things.

However, what if you really, really need to announce that you will be moving to Zimbabwe holiday-family-gatheringwithin the next couple of days? That might prove to be rather major for the hearer of the news. That’s where you need to have some consideration and not mess up their holiday!

For the hearer of plans that may be less than well thought-out, recognize that this is not your issue. People occasionally need to struggle with their own problems. Much as you would like to help and steer them clear of disaster, it’s not advisable. They don’t want to hear it. At a certain point, if you’ve tried before and they don’t want to listen, that’s it. Let it go, which brings us to today’s motto:

boom“Letting go helps us to to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.” ~Melody Beattie

There are some people who are bound and determined to crash and burn. Sad, but true. If you show that you care, it’s interpreted as trying to control them. If you let them go and do their thing, it’s interpreted that you don’t care. If it’s somewhere in the middle, you don’t care enough.

Always something. Bottom line: they have issues with themselves. That is the main thing.family-arguments Their help and assistance is not dependent on you. That is co-dependent behavior. The sooner they take responsibility, the better. But let’s be honest: that might never happen. That’s when you need to let go.

Live in peace and take responsibility for yourself. Best bet for a lovely holiday.

Happy Monday, everyone!


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