My Latest Luxe Need
So many women have luxury items that they claim they “must have”: be it a certain high-end brand of face cream, or weekly manicures, or bumping around town in the Bentley. Not me. My needs are modest, yet I have located one luxury item that would help make my life easier in so many ways.
I need a Party House.
Naturally, this time of year, many enjoy their beach house, or mountain getaway, or lake cabin. Location is not my issue, function is the real deal. We have plenty of living space in great places, but it would be so wonderful to have room to entertain… without having to live there, as well.
Before children and dogs, we always had friends over. Even acquaintances. Even friends of acquaintances. Now, not so much.
Dogs have a way of staining rugs. It was just yesterday that, in the middle of the night, Misha snoring soundly on top of my legs, paralyzing and impeding me in the most predictable way, occurring exactly when I hear Grisha in the next room, jumping off a couch and throwing up the vestiges of what looked at 3:30 a.m. to have once been a pine cone. You might as well have screamed, “Fire!” for how I ran to help him, numb spaghetti legs wobbling under me. Another big spot on the white berber carpeting, no amount of steam-cleaning, sprays, nor scrubbing will remove.
I need a Dedicated Party House which would also help to keep dogs and children at bay. All of them have a little too much “enthusiasm” when folks come to visit.
“You’re hair looks so… different. Is that a natural color?” one of my innocents asks, genuinely interested in what they should not be. The lady has just decided to add blond highlights and I doubt they know the word “blond”… or “tact”.
“The only unnatural hair colors are green, pink, and purple,” I state authoritatively, while shooing away the young conversationalist. “Looks lovely,” I tell the woman, trying to distract by introducing another mutual friend.
The children are at the age when they can stay on their own without a sitter for a couple of hours. They are also at the age when they can learn polite conversation and what’s appropriate… but the question is how and when they get to practice. Preferably not at any of my own social gatherings. But I’d need a Party House for that.
“I can tell you that there are 5,239 calories in this one, stuffed mushroom cap,” another helpful child says when passing an hors-d’oeuvres tray and trying to assist a hefty fellow. “You might want to go with the crudite’ and low-cal dip. Not that you need to lose weight or anything—” is hastily added when they see me making a beeline for them from across the room.
Best to leave the children and dogs elsewhere.
I wouldn’t mind cleaning before or after a get-together. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if the kitchen were already clean, there were no stray schoolbooks or backpacks, no tumbleweeds of dust bowl dog hairs, just open, pristine floors and counters? No stickiness, no slobber, no unsightly stuff. (I realize that some of you live in such a pristine world, but with four kids and two dogs, I can’t relate.)
That’s what I’ll ponder by the pool this summer: my Party House.
————Tags: home and garden entertaining dilemmas, home luxury, how to entertain in spite of kids and dogs, humorous parenting blog, room to entertain without having to live there, summer entertainment, the dedicated party house, the problem of entertaining with kids and dogs, what I ponder by the pool this summer, what one luxury item do you "need"?