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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Riding Out the Storms

How do you get through the average day as an adoptive parent when the storms of life come?  There may be issues of anger, grief, trauma, abuse, special needs, and educational intervention.  But forget about your issues, lol, let’s focus on these kids-!

Our first was a dream.  Maybe we should have left well-enough alone.  But as my husband Benedetto says, sometimes we do things for ourselves, and sometimes we do things for the children.  Our other three children are coming along, not always on our time schedule, but really, when I talk with other parents… we don’t have it bad at all.

At all.  A few bumps in the road here and there, and that’s what gets our attention, naturally.  But we can’t overlook the wonderful times when all is going well.

I realize that many of you are in the parenting trenches.  The war is on, and your home has changed… drastically.  My heart goes out to you.  I know in a small way what you’re experiencing.

A new cyber-friend wrote recently about not having known that they were signing up for “extreme parenting”.  Perhaps something a bit out of their comfort zone, something new to stretch them, but the needs are never-ending, the respite fairly nonexistent, and the parenting has to rise to the level of the challenge, as well.

Extreme.  It’s an appropriate word.

If any of our kids were kidnapped or in severe danger, we would do anything to save them.  (Most days, that is.)  Instead, our children face subtle dangers that are more difficult to discern.  We parents have to be on high alert… all the time.

Talk about hypervigilance-!  The wind and the waves are always with us.  The clear, smooth sailing days give us time to barely catch our breath.

Another mom-friend wrote me recently as she rides the highs and lows of life with her adopted now-teens.  A fantastic bio-mom, she was not ready, no matter how much she read and prepped herself for this wild ride.  She gave permission to share her take on the situation:

“Life is like a never ending series of storms.  Things can be close to drying up when a gust of wind, flashes of lightening, and torrential rains come.  In the midst of the storm it is often hard to keep faith that you will make it out alive.  And then the storm eases.  You are not out of the woods yet but there seems to be an end in sight.  Suddenly the winds start to die down, the thunder and lightening ceases, and the flooding turns into a gentle rain.  You look around at the damage – some of which can’t be repaired, some of which can be rebuilt with time, and some which will be repaired naturally with time, and love, and patience.  Life won’t ever be exactly as it was, but it was definitely worth riding out the storm.”

In terms of storms, patience is paramount.  We generally want the dark and gloomy days to be over NOW, however, the best response might be simply to throw out the anchor and hunker down.

Stay safe, friends.  All will be well.  May hope be the anchor of your soul.

 

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2 Comments : Leave a Reply

  1. avatar AP says:

    And thank you dear friend for handing me an umbrella when I need one :O)

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