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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Russian Reporters Review Us

The Russians were coming and our family grew excited at the prospect. They wanted to interview us and show the world a “happy adoption story”, an elusive idea that was rumored to exist.

We could only imagine the questions.

“Have you killed any of your Russian children?”

“Let me see–1, 2, 3, 4–nope, all present and accounted for.”

“Are you holding any in a closet, starving them to death?”

“No room–too many other skeletons there.”

“Do you impart Russian culture and customs to them?”

“Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday,”  I would declare with uplifted sworn-statement hand, upon which we all might swing into a rousing rendition of  “Kalinka”.

You think I’m kidding.

Partly. We actually did sing “Kalinka”.

Interestingly, we got a hip, young journalist whom all the kids really liked. She no doubt gave us a fake name, so we turned the tables and gave our real names for once. I could see her press pass dangling from her neck as she manipulated her microphone this way and that, speaking in rapid Russian, her mp3 recorder taping more than five hours of both amazing insights and inane chatter.

In our family, that amount of talk could be recorded at just one meal-time, and hardly did us justice. She had enough space for 37 hours–what were the other 32 hours going to be used for–the perpetrators of the “parasailing donkey incident” in Russia?

I considered which one might grab more column inches in print, and more air-time when broadcast. Well, if anyone could compete with a flying donkey, it was our laughing hyena of a family.

With professional panache, the kids rose to the occasion and gave enough significant soundbytes to springboard us to a front-page spread. The fact that they were all photogenic didn’t hurt matters, either.

What’s next? Probably a Russian reality show with our kids as comic relief, singing, shmoozing, splashing their way to prime time.

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