The Game of Life
My kids are learning a lot about life, only I’m not so sure that this is what I want them to know.
“If you have a career, you have to pay more tax,” Sashenka, our youngest, revealed. “But if you don’t work, you don’t have to pay anything-!” she enthused, in a way that I’ve unfortunately heard far too many adults raving.
“I never did get a house,” she lamented, an entertainer-singer who made a decent
living, but who turned out to be a single mom with three kids.
“Where did you live?” I asked.
“I think we lived in the car….”
She was referring to the board game called, “LIFE”, given to our teens over the holidays by some well-meaning friend. I felt it would be great for them to play together on a freezing, sleeting day, lounging by the fire, and figuring out life.
Pasha revealed that he had gone to college and had three children.
“Were you married?” I tried not to sound as concerned as I felt.
“No–.”
“Did you work? How did you pay for college and take care of three children?”
“Oh, I won a game show and paid off my loans,” he replied happily.
“I see.”
“But Sashenka kept suing me, otherwise, I could have had more money,” he complained.
“Why did she sue you?”
“She needed money. You can get ‘mnogah’ (much) money by suing them-!”
“I see.”
Pasha continued, “But I retired with a lot of money because I had children.”
“How is that? Did the children help with your retirement costs?”
“No, that’s how the game is played. If you have a family, you get to retire.”
“I see.”
Buncha deadbeats. Apparently, they’ll be living off of welfare.
Some had a surprise surgery come up, others were told to buy a new vehicle. Sashenka adopted twins and could not believe that everyone had to pay HER for having children–this was GREAT! Petya told me that his college textbooks cost $5,000 and he needed more loans, but Benedetto reassured him that, by the time he arrived to university in another couple of years, it would all be on iPad, anyway.
The kids had it made in the shade.
“Is it better to go to college or have a career?” I asked, my alarm mounting.
“If you go to college, then you can’t have a career,” Mashenka informed me.
“Why not?” I wondered.
“Because you’re in college, or having children, or buying a house-!” she said with
exasperation, puzzling over how I had reached the venerable age of 105 and still could not grasp the basics of life.
“I see. You’re buying a house in college?”
“I did,” Petya said excitedly, “a starter home. What’s a starter home?”
“Something like a trailer,” I muttered. “And were you working in order to afford this home? From where did you get the money?”
“From the BANK, Mama. The bank gives you money. But I also sued some people and won a couple of game shows, which helped.”
“I see.”
Which only goes to show that there may be some things out there more dangerous than video games. That was the downside. The upside? Non-stop dinnertime conversations about how life really works.
Priceless.
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Tags: are board games more dangerous than video games?, board games for the whole family, does college pay?, living off the bank's money, money matters for children, talking with your kids about money, teaching kids the economics of credit and loans, teaching your children to plan for life, the game of "Life"
This is hysterical!!! Thank you for making my day! Haven’t laughed this much for awhile ;O)
However …. I’m thinking our youngest could do much worse ….
You see what I mean, AP? This is what I’m up against. Of course, it’s been a few decades since I’ve seen a board game, so it could also be that they’re not playing it entirely properly….
Alexandra, Hello, dying for any thoughts on Putins announcement that he will sign and enforce no more us adoptions on Tuesday. Horrible.
Sarah
Sarah, it’s not surprising to me at all. The vicious and vindictive trends observed over years are continuing on target. Putin’s highly-touted “vertical power” has turned into “absolute power” during his increasingly-authoritarian regime. I believe that a lot of his animosity has to do with polarization between the US and Russia over Syria and other issues like Iran. The lines are being drawn as he has taken power over the press, opposed any religious expression outside the Orthodox Church, shut down public protests and freedom of speech, exiles dissenters to insane asylums where they pumped with drugs, is limiting NGOs, is hyping up any type of nationalistic idea to try to rally the populace…. He needs a growing rather than dwindling population, hence anti-adoption laws and payments for Russian families to adopt or have more children. Soon, I would expect him to limit access to the internet as has been suggested in the past. Putin is a ruthless KGB/FSB operative for whom compassion means nothing. We wish to see him through our own lenses, however, he is from a different mentality, that of every opponent having to be crushed and apparatchiks having to carry out every whim to make their leaders look good. The leopard is not changing his spots and is still just as dangerous as ever.
There must be a new edition of the game that is not the same as the one I remember playing…
I know, I remember seeing the board game in our home growing up, but nothing was ringing a bell.
Hillarious! We have the game Life and it can go like that, but whether you go to college or start a career, you always end up working. Shortly after the game starts you graduated college and get a job. It is funny what the kids can take away from something though.
See, the one moment I’m not monitoring, Jennifer…. I figure, “What can go wrong with a simple board game?” Apparently, a lot! Read the directions??? Details, details.