The Paralysis of Analysis: Mashenka’s Future
Our daughter’s “custom-made future” that I wrote about less than two weeks ago has bitten the dust. We had a good talk, I gave her a simple gameplan, what else she might research and possible next steps to take. No pressure, nothing forced upon her, I imagined I was following her expressed interests.
And then she did nothing. Zippo.
No phone calls, e-mails, internet searches. No looking into colleges, majors nor SAT practice sessions. Nothing.
Not interested, I guess.
Or more likely petrified.
I’ve always told our kids that a moving ship can be guided. Just get going. Ask questions. Shadow someone in their job. Be exposed to different things. Hang around other young people who are going places rather than your greatest decision in life being, “Burger or pizza?”
She’s petrified, I say, because she’s not talking about her future. Refuses to talk. Sulking around rather than taking charge. Kinda strange. She expects me or her father to wave our magic wand and work it out and make it all better. Just as long as she doesn’t have to do anything like study in college, learn something and then be gainfully employed.
I overheard her, I’m sure on purpose, explaining to her sister, “It’s MY life and I can do whatever I want with it.”
Not sure where she’s going, or not going, with this, but she enters her senior year of high school within days. Mashenka is still playing the “What’s my line?” game and although I’m no proponent of an 18-year-old having their entire life planned out from A to Z, she’s got to get a grip and come up with some vague interest, great or small.
I can’t rescue her from her own future at a time when she should be running toward it with joy and excitement, at least partially under her own steam.
————-Tags: daughter not planning for college, daughter not taking responsibility for her future, helping kids plan their future careers, life plans, sons and daughter with no life plans, teens who sulk