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Destinations, Dreams and Dogs - International adventure with a fast-track family (& dogs) of Old World values, adopting the Russian-Italian-American good life on the go…!

Trapped at 30,000 Feet

air.travelIf your summertime travel plans include plane flights to Paris, Punjab or Peru, I might have a few high-altitude travel tips for you.

  1. Try not to breathe any of the recirculated air which is deadly.
  2. Wear a surgical mask for those moments when you feel you must breathe.
  3. Try not to touch any aircraft bathroom door knobs, seatback tray tables, airline magazines or sliding window shades.
  4. Bring snacks, a toothbrush and reading material.

But those are the obvious. It’s the other passengers, if not the flight attendants, that will drive you nuts.child

I recall the man seated behind us on one airline who, for two hours straight, whistled “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”. At the end of the song, he composed a slightly different ending, such as going up at the end rather than down. I had never heard 101 variations of the childhood song… and never wanted to hear them ever again.

Annoying-Airline-PassengersThen there was the middle-aged lady reading a pornographic book to the child seated beside her and reading loud enough for half the plane to hear.

Not to mention the little girl who wandered up to me in First Class, pointing at Benedetto and asking, “Is that your daddy?”

There’s no getting away from the snorers, the seat kickers and the loud talkers. No, I do not wish to wear headphones, lest I miss an emergency evacuation notice. I slept through emergency notices in Russia once, landing three hours’ away from our intended destination, yet not knowing it until Baggage Claim.

That was a trip.



God bless that nice policeman who let me borrow his phone and the swarthy driver miraculously dispatched, holding a semi-reasonable facsimile of my name on a scrap of paper not much more than the size of a business card. I overnighted in a rather swank hotel and got back to business as my regular drivers took me back three hours the next day.

Until my next plane flight when I ended up at least six hours away from my target of Moscow, diverted due to an extremely-heavy snowstorm. This happens a lot in Russia.

airline-passengersAnd their passengers are even more unruly—drinking, smoking and giving the stewardesses a hard time. But one young oligarch bought Petya a very expensive box of duty-free chocolates.

Which only goes to show that even the most stressful of sky-high experiences have their silver linings. Your summer airline plans include a 99% chance of not arriving on time, yet still turning out better than most of my experiences-!

Have a great trip!




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